Keyword search terms

The time has come once again to take a look at some of the keyword search terms that bring people to my humble abode here. I do this every now and then because it amuses me to think about the thought process involved in some of these search terms.

In case you're wondering how this works, whenever you type in a search term into google or some other inferior search engine and ukmelia.com pops up and you visit me, my stats thingie records the search words used that led you here.

Mostly the search terms for my site end up being things like 'Kiefer Sutherland screencaps' or 'Ridiculous thoughts video' because well, I have a lot of Kiefer screencaps, and I named this blog after one of my fave Cranberries songs.

But every now and then, I get stuff like this:

"Pointed areolas" - what the hell? What is the fascination with areolas I wonder? They seem to be quite the porn search term. Now, perhaps this person was actually looking up pointy areolas for purely academic purposes.

Somehow I doubt it though. But I am tired of the blog showing up in that particular search. My own fault though because I keep mentioning the word when I make fun of Keyword searches. Ah well.

"a cold shower metaphor" - Now, my first thought here is that this person is in the middle of a netsex session and has used the cold shower metaphor one too many times, so he pops up Google and quickly searches for another way to tell his amour that he's too turned on.

"Ty Pennington is hawt" - well that's a given.

"Ty Pennington's phone number/cell phone number" - Honey if I had that do you think I'd be blogging right now? Umm, no.

"I hate Ty Pennington" - Go away.

"sexiest picture ever" - I'm actually interested in seeing that. *goes off to see what Google comes up with for that one* Hmmm.. a simple search turns up Jesse McCartney, The Berlin Wall (???) and somebody named Derrick. Oh well.

"My parents can't afford braces" - No kidding. Braces are expensive and they suck. I had to have the bloody things for 5 years. Still not sure why iI turned up in this search but there you go.

"What shoe size does Nicole Kidman wear" - Why would someone want to know this? I mean, I can understand being a fan. I mean look at my current Ty Pennington crush - but I could care less what his shoe size is. Well... unless that whole myth thing is true, then I'd be interested :) But I don't think it works for women.

"I have had a cold for a month" - I sympathize. of course I know why I turned up here because I HAVE HAD A FECKING COLD FOR A MONTH and it sucked much and I whinged about it here. Take my advice whomever you are - go to the doctor and stop trying to cure yourself online.

"Massaged his groin" - ok I think I'll just leave that one alone.

"What made hitler so evil?" - I dunno.

That's all for now :)