Eesh everything's just gone all to hell. Funnily enough, I don't care all that much. Judy is gone. I know I should be glad she's at peace (this is what everyone says. If it comforts them, that's all right), but damnit I miss her. I miss being able to go to her with my woes. You know how, with your mother, you can be very close, but there are just things you don't tell your mom? I could say them to Judy. Of course she would often pass them along to Mom but that's ok. Sisters do that. I don't like the memories of the past week - well most of them. Last week was very nice for other reasons I won't go into because they're irrelevant to this train of thought. But Judy's funeral was at the same funeral home as my mother's. The same person officiated. It was surreal. I'm not sure who I was crying for more, mom or Judy.

It was weird being on the peripheral edge of it all aswell. My sister and I weren't 'immediate family' and so we felt a little left out. My uncle's relative sort of came and took over everything, from food to sorting through Judy's things. There wasn't anything left for us to do. In a way it was a relief. There was so much to do after mom's funeral, so many things to organise, plus I had to pack up her whole house in less than a week or her psycho landlady would have expected more rent. I suppose it's because of all of that that I felt like there would have been more for me to do. I don't know, I'm new to the funeral thing, but I don't like it.

What else have I lost... Oh my Placebo forum. Ka-rash and burn. Leigh shut them down for personal reasons and quit working for the band. So I think Dee has taken over the site and the Silver Rocket forum so that's still there at least. But oddly enough I'm not fussed. I can still talk to Leigh and Dee so I'm happy with that. Still have TCZ aswell so all is not hopeless.

So some nice things about this last week. I've learned beer is not that bad. Not sure I could ever fully enjoy it the way Rick does, and I deffo dislike the bitter beers he's so fond of, but it's not all bad. I never knew there could be so many subtle flavours and aromas in a pint. What else... Oh watched my first full hockey game and I now know what a power play is. I must sound desperately silly to a sports fan but I don't care. I never got into them. Always preferred playing to watching, not that I get much of a chance to do that these days, but hockey's definitely something I can watch with interest. I used to love ice-skating. I might have to take the kid sometime to kearney and skate the rink there. Must also look into renting Slapshot if I can find it. Rick said it's a classic.

Anyway, have to get back into the mode of going to work. Which means I'd better get to bed.