Continued

So I'm still feeling stagnant. I shouldn't have written about it last night right before bed because that 'plain' feeling is sticking with me. And really, now I'm blaming my boss for thinking I have a wild life because now I have to live up to that *grin*.

I was driving into work this morning and thinking about what it would be like to do something different. I have vacation next week and I was thinking of spending it going out and doing a bit of photography. Fall is a beautiful time of the year - even in Nebby and I think it would be cool to go out and capture a bit of it. I can't use my good camera though as I don't have any film, so it'll have to be digital. I just want to be sure I don't spend my entire vacation locked up in the house watching Kiefer movies. Not necessarily a bad thing mind you :) I could watch him for hours. But I want to take advantage of the cooler weather and maybe nick my daughter's bike for a few rides, take some snaps and just try and get into life here.

Or maybe I should use the time to finally start writing something substantial for a change. It's been a dream of mine to write a book and become published but my problem is I can't think of a good story to tell. I can't even decide on a genre. I have a million beginnings of stories, but not real content. Maybe now's the time to pick one and see where it leads.

I don't know.. I write that a lot. I don't know. Well, I really don't know. I'm sure I'll end up just doing whatever I feel like doing, but I don't know if it will help me come to terms with having to stay here in Nebraska for the next six years. "Why don't you move then?" I hear you say... Well for a variety of reasons. The main one being the fact that my daughter is settled and happy and absolutely flourishing in junior high here. She's surrounded by her friends whom she's known all her life. I never had that feeling growing up because we moved so much. I used to think she would benefit from moving to different places as she grew up because I felt that's what gave me my love for travelling. But then again I'm such an introverted, quiet person - not outgoing at all and I wonder if having to make new friends whenever we moved has anything to do with that.

Anyway, I also can't move because my grandparents are the only close family she and I have left apart from my sister. But Kelly's young and lives in Cali whereas the G's are getting up there in years and who knows how long we'll have them in our lives. I can't deny them or my daughter the chance to be close to each other right now.

So there are two very good reasons for staying here, at least for now. So I will continue to lose myself in the movies as a way to pass the time. I will watch my daughter grow up to be confident and sure of herself - smart and independent and beautiful... And then I will probably get the hell out of Dodge and who knows, maybe by then I'll be published, doing book tours and interviews and hanging out with my idols.

For now though, I'd better get back to work... Oh and totally off-topic but I've added a link to my good friend Corey's spanky new blog I built for him so check it out. And I've discovered someone I don't even know has me linked on their blog - pretty nifty :)