Alt-Tab issues

Since I'm so intrigued with the Piano Man, and I've got such itchy fingers tonight I thought I'd get some stuff out of my head about the case. A sort of fan fiction experiment on this enigmatic, lost man.

I wrote the above paragraph about 10 minutes ago, and then I somehow got distracted by Trading Spouses. Why I don't know, I meant to turn the TV off. I think the alt-tab world in which I live has weakened my attention span. When I finally came back to my screen here, I lost the mood to write something.

There. TV off. I always seem to have it on when I get home, but I never really watch it. I've talked about this before, but for some reason the quietness is louder than having the TV on. The throbbing hum of the AC in the hall outside my bedroom is a steady noise until it shuts off for a cycle. While it's on it causes enough vibration to make the large picture I have hanging above my bed vibrate like a fingernail tapping on a desk. Occasionally I can hear the kid tapping on the computer in the living room. She's in the middle of attepting to write a book and has excerpts and ideas throughout a myriad of old spiral notebooks and she's trying to get them into a cohesive order in Word.

Either that or she's on Neopets again. I hate it when she's on that site because I agree with Wil Wheaton when he says the Internet(s) is full of freaks, present company excluded of course :) But I have rather disturbing images of a 45 year old hairy man with glasses masturbating as he pretends to be a 13 year old girl on Neopets chatting to my daughter. I don't know why the perv has glasses apart from most of the images of serial killers and pedophiles I've seen, they're wearing unobtrusive but large glasses with wire frames.

But I know her passwords, usernames and all that and check her regularly (which she knows) and so far nothing quite that obscene.

Changing the subject... I used to have a blog where I kept most of my writing attempts, iedas, exrcises etc. Maybe I should dust it off and use it again. But I always start stuff like that with good intentions, and then gradually I end up distracted by other things until the dust begins to gather again and I put it away.

Anyone who might have read some of my old entries here might see a pattern in my enthusiasm for writing. The desire washes over me in great thundering waves and I become "serious" about writing and sometimes I do even make some progress. Or I get some grand idea like, "How about if I start a blog about my writing process, the ups, he downs, the in-betweens. It could be a repository for ideas, a virtual sounding board!"

Sounds good in theory, at least to me. So I start it, I write in it. I collect story ideas, I bitch about the lack of story ideas, or the lack of progression in a particular one. I force myself to freewrite for 10 minutes to let the ideas flow. Pretty soon the desire dries up, the waves recede and I retreat into my mundane life for a while, mindlessly getting up, going to work, coming home, watching a bit of TV, reading, then going to sleep.

Why does that happen? Is it because I maybe doubt myself too much. Even writing this silly blog I deleted some things I wrote because I know a few of the people who read this and I don't want to 'come off' a certain way. How stupid is that? Pretty damn stupid quite frankly.

And how's this for an abrupt ending? I want to blog about something else but in a different entry.